Ch. 2 - Swimming Hole
It was a long while before I heard movement on the other side of the bedroom door I’d barricaded myself behind. There was some murmuring, but I couldn’t make it out. Probably Jared giving a vague excuse to Jamie why I wasn’t coming along. Maybe he was using the line about my having a headache. It was impossible to tell. It was possible however that Jamie had eavesdropped on our entire conversation as he’d been known to do when there were actual conversations he was likely to overhear. I would probably never know, given that I was so engrossed in my inner turmoil to pay attention to whether Jamie even shut his bedroom door behind him on the other end of the trailer.
I heard my door start to open and closed my eyes quickly. Luck was on my side because I was already lying on the bed facing the far window. Jared rounded the bed to where I was laying. I knew it was him because I felt a shadow falling over my face, interrupting the sun streaming through the window. That could only be done by someone much taller than my little brother.
I wondered if he could tell if he wasn’t sleeping. And if he would inform me of that if he did. I hoped he wouldn’t. I just wanted him to go so I could cry in peace and he wouldn’t try to soothe me; because I knew he would. I knew he would feel bad, and I didn’t want that either. Besides, there was nothing he could say that would fix it. The damage was already done. His silence from our tense conversation had spoken volumes, even if he didn’t realize it.
After what felt like an eternity, I heard him set two objects on the wide window ledge beside me. It was something light that must have been paper and something heavy that made me nervous. My eyes snapped open despite my determination to maintain a façade of deep sleep.
A gun.
I felt myself go cold. I couldn’t look away from it. There was a literal gun laying less than a foot away from me. The realization made me fear for a moment that it wasn’t really Jared hovering nearby but a seeker. I dismissed that when I remembered that if it had been one of the horrid alien invaders that I would have been carried off unconscious by now, not laying here in bed being threatened by a gun.
The other possibility my overactive imagination came up with was that somehow another human had stumbled into my vicinity and was far less civil than Jared had turned out to be.
“For protection,” Jared’s voice came booming from beside me, identifying him as an ally. “Just in case,” he said.
I almost sobbed aloud in relief. I wanted him to hold me right then. I wanted to wrap my arms tightly around him and cry into his shirt, tears and snot and pure vulnerability, because I had been absolutely terrified for the longest two seconds of my life. I wanted the safety of his arms more than anything in the world.
There was, of course, a small voice in the back of my head that told me such an action would just prove how much of a child was, that I needed to be held like a kid younger than Jamie would need to be after a nightmare.
That annoyance suddenly no longer mattered though. For this moment my recent fury and pain was a past grievance that I had moved past in the face of the fear of danger. What did keep me from begging to be held or diving into his arms without warning was the simple fact that we had not known each other very long. It was one thing to become comfortable enough to talk and hang out and essentially live together on casual terms. It was quite another thing to have a meltdown and demand to be held until the worst of the remaining jitters disappeared; especially when there had been no real danger to begin with. Plus, Jamie was probably waiting just outside the likely still open door, eager to go on his grand swimming adventure.
There just wasn’t time to succumb to the fear and relief that had engulfed me in a matter of seconds, at least not openly. It had just been so long since I’d been able to depend on anyone. Jamie had needed me to be his rock. I needed to be fearless for him and in control. I had to have all the answers, because if I couldn’t remain impenetrable to the chaos going on around us, how could he ever feel like survival was even an option?
It would be such a relief to let someone take care of me for once, regardless if they viewed me as a ‘kid’ while they did it. That was the simple truth of it all. When I set my pride aside, I could see that.
But Jared’s voice continued just as I was seriously considering the merits of surrender, only eight days of knowing each other be damned.
“And here are the directions to the watering hole…if you change your mind.”
I watched his fingers graze the paper he’d set beneath the gun, only offering a little nod against the pillow in response. I couldn’t bring myself to turn my head to look at him. There were too many emotions swirling through me.
He sighed in a way that I couldn’t tell was from aggravation, confusion or defeat.
“Okay, Melanie,” he said by way of goodbye.
Then he was gone. When I heard both the bedroom and outer door close, and Jamie’s cheerful voice drift past the open windows, I closed my eyes and let the tears soak my eyelashes.
Ten minutes later I was sufficiently sure I was all cried out, as crazy as that seemed for how intense my emotions had been. I dashed out of the trailer to see how far they’d gotten. I could just barely make out two blurred figures in the distance and decided it wasn’t worth the trip. I was still fairly shaken from the amount of trauma my heart had gone through in just the last hour, even if I was all cried out for the moment. I knew I couldn’t just run after them and pretend like everything was alright. Not yet.
I went back inside the trailer and tried to decide what to do. I tried to take a nap. When that failed me, I contemplated hiding up in one of the surrounding trees to see if either Jared or Jamie would spot me on their way back. It was mean, but I wanted to see if Jared would really lose it if he thought I’d been taken. I knew Jamie would and that was reason alone to make me completely dismiss my idea of revenge. The prospect of potentially sitting up in a tree for hours didn’t sound particularly appealing either.
Before another hour had passed by I’d resolved to go to the watering hole. I realized, quite simply, that I missed my boys. I ached for them. It was the end of the world. I couldn’t afford to let my bitterness keep us apart. For all I knew they were more in danger away from our hideout than I was staying here with nothing but Jared’s gun to protect me and the fact that I could run.
I readied myself and ran the whole way to the watering hole. I went as fast as I had the night Jared had found me, except this time I was running with longing not the desire to escape.
When I was twenty feet away from the watering hole – which really was quite large and very beautiful – I spotted them playing frisbee in shallow waters. Their towels and sunscreen were laying a safe distance away beneath some trees. I scanned the surrounding area and spotted some bushes along the shore just behind where Jamie stood, his back to me. As quietly as I could manage I snuck into the bushes, catching Jared’s gaze just before I was sufficiently hidden and feeling hot all over. I could have sworn there was a hint of heat in his eyes.
I counted to three in my head and then lurched out of the bushes into the water. Jamie shrieked like a little girl, terrified at first when I grabbed him around the waist and started to spin him around.
“Melanie! Melanie, stop!” he yelled when he realized it was me.
I didn’t stop, and before I knew it Jared was right there wrapping his strong arms around both of us from behind and pulling us backward into the water. Jared and I were laughing but Jamie was annoyed. He extracted himself from us and charged into slightly deeper water to fetch the frisbee.
“Aw, come on, Jamie! I was just having fun!” I called after him teasingly. I turned to look at Jared who was levering himself into a lazy sitting position.
“You’re back,” he said, and that was all that needed to be said. He understood.
“I’m back,” I said, smiling softly.
He let his hand, cool with water slide down my left arm from behind. I wanted to kiss him so badly it hurt, and that startled me, but the moment was broken by Jared’s other hand suddenly snapping in front of the side of my face where a frisbee was about to make contact. I turned to look at Jamie, startled.
“Jamie!”
I was up in an instant, chasing after my little brother in the water and tackling him. He laughed this time and soon Jared was there and we were all splashing each other and laughing together, all the morning’s tense arguments, awkward moments and overwhelming sadness forgotten.
I heard my door start to open and closed my eyes quickly. Luck was on my side because I was already lying on the bed facing the far window. Jared rounded the bed to where I was laying. I knew it was him because I felt a shadow falling over my face, interrupting the sun streaming through the window. That could only be done by someone much taller than my little brother.
I wondered if he could tell if he wasn’t sleeping. And if he would inform me of that if he did. I hoped he wouldn’t. I just wanted him to go so I could cry in peace and he wouldn’t try to soothe me; because I knew he would. I knew he would feel bad, and I didn’t want that either. Besides, there was nothing he could say that would fix it. The damage was already done. His silence from our tense conversation had spoken volumes, even if he didn’t realize it.
After what felt like an eternity, I heard him set two objects on the wide window ledge beside me. It was something light that must have been paper and something heavy that made me nervous. My eyes snapped open despite my determination to maintain a façade of deep sleep.
A gun.
I felt myself go cold. I couldn’t look away from it. There was a literal gun laying less than a foot away from me. The realization made me fear for a moment that it wasn’t really Jared hovering nearby but a seeker. I dismissed that when I remembered that if it had been one of the horrid alien invaders that I would have been carried off unconscious by now, not laying here in bed being threatened by a gun.
The other possibility my overactive imagination came up with was that somehow another human had stumbled into my vicinity and was far less civil than Jared had turned out to be.
“For protection,” Jared’s voice came booming from beside me, identifying him as an ally. “Just in case,” he said.
I almost sobbed aloud in relief. I wanted him to hold me right then. I wanted to wrap my arms tightly around him and cry into his shirt, tears and snot and pure vulnerability, because I had been absolutely terrified for the longest two seconds of my life. I wanted the safety of his arms more than anything in the world.
There was, of course, a small voice in the back of my head that told me such an action would just prove how much of a child was, that I needed to be held like a kid younger than Jamie would need to be after a nightmare.
That annoyance suddenly no longer mattered though. For this moment my recent fury and pain was a past grievance that I had moved past in the face of the fear of danger. What did keep me from begging to be held or diving into his arms without warning was the simple fact that we had not known each other very long. It was one thing to become comfortable enough to talk and hang out and essentially live together on casual terms. It was quite another thing to have a meltdown and demand to be held until the worst of the remaining jitters disappeared; especially when there had been no real danger to begin with. Plus, Jamie was probably waiting just outside the likely still open door, eager to go on his grand swimming adventure.
There just wasn’t time to succumb to the fear and relief that had engulfed me in a matter of seconds, at least not openly. It had just been so long since I’d been able to depend on anyone. Jamie had needed me to be his rock. I needed to be fearless for him and in control. I had to have all the answers, because if I couldn’t remain impenetrable to the chaos going on around us, how could he ever feel like survival was even an option?
It would be such a relief to let someone take care of me for once, regardless if they viewed me as a ‘kid’ while they did it. That was the simple truth of it all. When I set my pride aside, I could see that.
But Jared’s voice continued just as I was seriously considering the merits of surrender, only eight days of knowing each other be damned.
“And here are the directions to the watering hole…if you change your mind.”
I watched his fingers graze the paper he’d set beneath the gun, only offering a little nod against the pillow in response. I couldn’t bring myself to turn my head to look at him. There were too many emotions swirling through me.
He sighed in a way that I couldn’t tell was from aggravation, confusion or defeat.
“Okay, Melanie,” he said by way of goodbye.
Then he was gone. When I heard both the bedroom and outer door close, and Jamie’s cheerful voice drift past the open windows, I closed my eyes and let the tears soak my eyelashes.
Ten minutes later I was sufficiently sure I was all cried out, as crazy as that seemed for how intense my emotions had been. I dashed out of the trailer to see how far they’d gotten. I could just barely make out two blurred figures in the distance and decided it wasn’t worth the trip. I was still fairly shaken from the amount of trauma my heart had gone through in just the last hour, even if I was all cried out for the moment. I knew I couldn’t just run after them and pretend like everything was alright. Not yet.
I went back inside the trailer and tried to decide what to do. I tried to take a nap. When that failed me, I contemplated hiding up in one of the surrounding trees to see if either Jared or Jamie would spot me on their way back. It was mean, but I wanted to see if Jared would really lose it if he thought I’d been taken. I knew Jamie would and that was reason alone to make me completely dismiss my idea of revenge. The prospect of potentially sitting up in a tree for hours didn’t sound particularly appealing either.
Before another hour had passed by I’d resolved to go to the watering hole. I realized, quite simply, that I missed my boys. I ached for them. It was the end of the world. I couldn’t afford to let my bitterness keep us apart. For all I knew they were more in danger away from our hideout than I was staying here with nothing but Jared’s gun to protect me and the fact that I could run.
I readied myself and ran the whole way to the watering hole. I went as fast as I had the night Jared had found me, except this time I was running with longing not the desire to escape.
When I was twenty feet away from the watering hole – which really was quite large and very beautiful – I spotted them playing frisbee in shallow waters. Their towels and sunscreen were laying a safe distance away beneath some trees. I scanned the surrounding area and spotted some bushes along the shore just behind where Jamie stood, his back to me. As quietly as I could manage I snuck into the bushes, catching Jared’s gaze just before I was sufficiently hidden and feeling hot all over. I could have sworn there was a hint of heat in his eyes.
I counted to three in my head and then lurched out of the bushes into the water. Jamie shrieked like a little girl, terrified at first when I grabbed him around the waist and started to spin him around.
“Melanie! Melanie, stop!” he yelled when he realized it was me.
I didn’t stop, and before I knew it Jared was right there wrapping his strong arms around both of us from behind and pulling us backward into the water. Jared and I were laughing but Jamie was annoyed. He extracted himself from us and charged into slightly deeper water to fetch the frisbee.
“Aw, come on, Jamie! I was just having fun!” I called after him teasingly. I turned to look at Jared who was levering himself into a lazy sitting position.
“You’re back,” he said, and that was all that needed to be said. He understood.
“I’m back,” I said, smiling softly.
He let his hand, cool with water slide down my left arm from behind. I wanted to kiss him so badly it hurt, and that startled me, but the moment was broken by Jared’s other hand suddenly snapping in front of the side of my face where a frisbee was about to make contact. I turned to look at Jamie, startled.
“Jamie!”
I was up in an instant, chasing after my little brother in the water and tackling him. He laughed this time and soon Jared was there and we were all splashing each other and laughing together, all the morning’s tense arguments, awkward moments and overwhelming sadness forgotten.
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